ALLIES IN CHANGE'S NEWSLETTER
Our newsletter, Changes, is available to anyone. The purpose of the newsletter is to provide free education to our partners and the public about the many issues surrounding domestic violence. Changes also includes important Allies Updates, as well as information about important upcoming events in our community. Signup for our newsletter email list at the top of the screen to receive new issues of Changes. Download our newsletters below.
August 1st marked the one year anniversary of when Allies in Change Counseling Center, LLC became Allies in Change, a non-profit. While the clients who have been attending the agency have not observed any difference except for the shortening of the name, the change marked a deepening commitment to helping stop domestic violence (DV) not only within the families directly using our services, but within the larger community. We have three primary goals as a non-profit: raising awareness of domestic violence, providing services to violence-affected families not typically reached by other agencies working to stop domestic violence, and helping improve the quality of work being done with people who are abusive.
While everyone has probably heard the phrase "domestic violence" many still do not understand what that means. We've found that many still hold stereotypical and simplistic ideas which result in overlooking this issue, even in their own lives. We regularly offer presentations, often for free, clarifying what domestic violence is and the belief systems that drive it. Key points we emphasize include: most domestic violence involves non-physical abuse; on-going patterns of subtle emotional abuse and control are primary issues; and those patterns of behavior are driven by underlying belief systems, particularly a "power over" mindset. We expand the "power and control" definition.... download the full article here.
Just how prevalent is domestic violence? Is it getting better or worse? In our Fall 2013 issue of Changes, we will briefly summarize some of the data about the prevalence of DV in Oregon, the United States, and around the world.
Around the world, on average, one of every three ever-partnered women will experience physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner. Forty-two percent of these women experienced injuries as a result of that violence. Seven percent of adult women have experienced that violence from both partners and non-partners. We know that, while alarming, these numbers certainly under-report the actual prevalence of domestic violence.
Globally, almost 40 percent of all murders of women were committed by their intimate partners. Women who have experienced partner violence are almost twice as likely to experience depression and alcohol-use problems as compared to women who have not experienced any violence.
While identified as a significant issue in every country in the world.... download the full article here.
In our last article, we described a variety of types of abusive behaviors: physical, verbal, psychological, property, economic, sexual, and collateral abuse. Each of these is hurtful towards others. However, what makes this more of a concern is when there is a pattern of these behaviors, most typically limited to one's romantic partner and children. When behaviors are truly a mistake they are implicitly limited because they are not the way we typically behave or want to behave. While mistakes need to be corrected and acknowledged, little more is usually needed to be done to keep them from happening again. When there is a pattern of behavior, on the other hand, there are usually underlying beliefs and presumptions that drive those behaviors, which is why they continue to occur. They aren't mistakes - they reflect choices a person is making. Therefore, it's not enough to stop the behaviors, the underlying beliefs need to be changed as well or similar behaviors are likely to continue even if a particular one is no longer done.
While there are a number of beliefs that drive abusive behaviors, the most common one is based on one's orientation towards power. In her book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Patricia Evans describes this orientation as power over and its non-abusive alternative as... download the full article here.
Our first issue of Changes explores the roots of abusive behavior, and what is domestic violence.
"No, that's crazy! I'd never hit a women!" That defense, as innocent as it sounds, allows domestic violence to thrive. Most people don't recognize domestic violence because it usually isn't as obvious as a battered face or a homicide victim.
Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior used by one person to control and subordinate another person in an intimate relationship. Pattern is the key word in this definition. Domestic violence is rarely an isolated act - it's an on-going pattern of actions that spring naturally from dangerous belief systems.
On-going abusive behavior is driven by the abuser's belief systems and worldviews. The most common belief is power over - believing that power over others is an effective survival strategy. Controlling the other is assumed to be superior to sharing power within a collaborative relationship. Stopping domestic violence, therefore, has a focus not just on stopping behaviors, but on... download the full article here.